a letter to you.

you're kind of pathetic.

you yearn and cry and ache for someone to be there for you. you still let a revealing facebook status knock the wind out of your lungs, and you think it a travesty that such a great love was lost. you feel like you need revenge, you need to look better, you need to be the winner. you give and give and give.. receiving nothing in return. you fight and you complain and you demand some credit for what a good person you are.

why can't you live without him? why can't you just get the hell over it, move on, walk away, and finally let yourself believe that you are better without him. you're better than him. you deserve something else, something that fits you better, something that makes you more complete. so what if she has him now. you don't want him. you just want someone to love you, you want someone to be there for you, you want someone to tell you you're beautiful and you're lovely and you're smart and you're unique.

but she was right. he wont do that anymore. he wont keep your preciousness anymore; he wont be the one anymore.

is it really such a loss?

is it really just like losing a dollar out of the seven or eight you already had?

honestly, did you really want him? no. did you really want to pretend like you were interested? no. did you want to compromise? no.

but you thought you did, and now you're left feeling rejected. you feel more unwanted and unlovely than you have your whole life. you feel worthless and disrespected and unloved and unacceptable. all he needed to do was dump you and then he would be free to find the girl of his dreams, the perfect one. the one who was everything you weren't. the one who had every fucking thing that you didn't have and would never have. you couldn't be enough and wouldn't ever be good enough for him. she is everything and you are nothing. at least these are the things that run through your head everyday. you need to get away from them. these words will eat you alive and tear you to shreds. you wound yourself with them; you damage your heart with them. get away from them.

speak life.

speak truth.

you wanted to fight for it, you wanted to win. you wanted to prevail and prove that love truly does conquer all. but you couldn't do it. he couldn't do it. you were going down, and you knew that you were doomed. you were the one he dreamed of, and he was the one you tried to draw. but it couldn't and it wouldn't. it wasn't meant to be and you have got to move on. you have got to get over it. you have got to live.

live.

just live.

one day you'll know true love. a love that wont turn your eyes from your first love... a love that wont make you feel bad about the person you are... a love that will truly conquer all and be all consuming.

focus on your First Love. focus on the people who will fight for you until the end, those who wont walk away, who would never dream of dropping you like it's hot and treating you like shit. you've got it so good. you've got support, you've got true love. your true loves are the osbornes, and your niceville girls, and erin, danielle, mandy, aaron, matt, beth, garrett, joe. they will love you through everything. they would never say you aren't good enough. they would never make you feel like you're not perfect or intelligent or funny.

neither will He. turn your eyes upon jesus and don't look back. he will catch you when you fall. he will support you. he will love you. he will be your strength and your shield.

just love him, like john said. return to him and tear your eyes away from the idol you've made. He will cleanse you. He will be like the dew in the morning, a rain that washes every stain and every speck of dirt away. He will refresh and romance. He will renew.

He is the love you are looking for.

He is the acceptance you need.

He is all that you need.